Damaged & Dangerous

 It’s always sunny in Philadelphia - Oh my god I don’t care

This is me right now. Seriously. People’s brains seem to be melting… all logic seeping away leaving nothing but emotional drama. And I can’t blame this impression on trying to quit smoking, because it started while I was still in full chimney mode.

I made a silly remark, which I thought was amusing, and it caused the friend who heard it to have a meltdown. I tried to ignore the meltdown, hoping they would at some point come to their senses on their own, realise they were making an apocalypse out of a misunderstanding on their part, and then have a sheepish chuckle. But when people create emotional dramas they don’t do it just for their own benefit, they share it with all and sundry in the hopes of attracting an attentive audience and garnering ego food in the form of applause. Fair enough. If they’ve gone to all the trouble to have a crisis, one which could have easily been avoided, then the rest of us need to appreciate all the work and creativity being offered to us, and reassure them that they are a wonderful  genius and have done a brilliant job.

I love this friend, although that was put into question amongst other things. I know they are very emotional and hyper sensitive. I also know that they have a bit of a blind spot when it comes to other people, and the fact that other people have problems, emotions of their own, and lives that are not always easy. Our problems are always more important to us than the problems of others, and we sometimes think our problems should be as important to others as they are to us. We think our hurt, pain and suffering is special, more special than anyone else’s, because it is so precious to us, and we expect others to feel the same way, not that their hurt is more special than ours, but that ours is more special than theirs. We also think others should be thinking about us and our problems all the time, just like we do… thing is, others are busy thinking about their our troubles. Go figure.

This friend is aware that I am having a very difficult time at the moment in my life, that I turn to my friends for support, in the form of simply having a haven where I can relax, have a chuckle, be myself. I don’t share the details of my problem with my friends, mainly because when I do it fucks with people’s minds. (No, I am not going to share it with you to prove my point. Feel free to not believe me. It’s better that way. Mind you, I have considered writing a post all about it… we’ll see). So I haven’t told this friend the ins and outs of what is going on. They have a lot of their plate, they do not need me to add my stuff to it. That’s my take on it. I use my blog for venting when it all gets too much, that way people can choose whether they want to hear my drama or not, rather than being a captive audience because they are being a friend.

Seriously though. What this friend did pales in comparison to what the people connected with my Gordian Knot of a problem have been doing. I am surrounded by drama queens, all shouting and emoting loudly, all convinced their issues are the only ones which matter, that their hurt is the deepest, their pain is the cruelest, their life the only one which is counts… all wanting my attention… and… OH MY GOD I DON’T CARE!

Is This Brain Melting Season?